Rock'n roll…with new drums..

fast and intricate passage of time overloaded and overloading. a devastating loss, which almost killed me; it was a real possibility: i mean death  right before a deadline, 2 overwhelming meetings, which brought many new friends, a disconcerting landscape where i feel i can write again, i think.  both write and long last we have been invited to submit a full proposal regarding Dialogue’s potential in breaking down walls between scientific knowledge and else.

 in the meantime i have been visiting jerry coyne’s excellent blog, and also reading and commenting in the ‘scientific blogging” site which i consider promising the link for sb is at least people do civil exchanges there. even lubos motl: you know or heard of lubos motl? maybe you should have the experience, he should spend some time at the green mile. just kiddin.

 meanwhile, i long for my daughters, long for my gone love, long for renewal to move forward.-just like the implausible mad men main male character argues all the time..move forward!!! or go forward?   dont know why this tv show fascinates the ‘media’ so much.

coming out of the emotional blinding and inmovilizing stupor reenacts birth, i theorize.  pain being the common denominator. however,  if we knew the trauma beforehand we would choose stay in mothers’ warm uterine fluid and then we wouldnt experience the pain of loss, the void of absence, sort of an overwhelming idea. will think further

this is how healing works:  i was writing on my bed-use a tiny vaio, which i can slide even sleeping, under  my dozen pillows- by the west facing window 6 pm one day last week, when a hummingbird came to drink water droplets-there had been a storm- hanging on the tiny squares of the window screen 2 inches from my face i heard a zunzunzunzun, thought was the tele, always on, firewalling the world, but it was the hummin’ drinking from the minisquares of the screen, in taking off, he accelerated,  without first glancing  at me with an enormous eye..and i think… a grin…i swear that minimal weight-paraphrasing neruda-was grinning….

this hummin had previously learned or was there drawn by a light reflection or something else?

dont judge harshly these words. im doing what i can writing about what happened. i wish we had a reset button. i cant believe neither remember how i wrote from the start of this blog.


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